Wednesday, September 21, 2011
All cold an upside down. And see how I'm missing the middle snowball? That's where my heart was. But you took it with you when you went away from me.
*My Heart Will Go On now plays*
Just know that I miss you. And you will always, always, be my first laptop.
*closes eyes* * a single tear rolls down cheek*
I love you.
*rolls eyes* Okay, okay, so enough of me being dramatic. I do need to apologize for my lack of posting, I am SO sorry. My poor blog has been seriously ignored. I still don't have a new computer, and I might not for a while, but I will try and get beck to posting as normally as possible. I also feel really bad about completely neglecting book of the week, but it should be updated again tomorrow. If not, I give you all permission to gather the legions of rouge fire-unicorns and unleash them on my house. I give no promises that I will hold back my army of gremlins, however.
And, now that I have proved my insanity, I must tell you the sorrowful tale of what became of my computer.
One day, a girl named Riley was doing her daily rituals: Wishing Harry Potter was real, eating brownies, and watching TV. She could otherwise be known as a Nerd. She, being a Nerd, decided to get on her laptop and creep around on twitter. (Yes. I creep. Hide your children.) But, to her displeasure, her STUPID FACE MEANIE HEAD laptop would not work correctly, it's blank screen only giving off flickers of life.
Now, Riley is not your conventional Nerd. She is also an Insane Asylum escapee. So, naturally, she did not try to fix the laptop normally. No, she first made angry grunts. Then she pounded her fists against the table, and tied a sock around her head. She emitted a battle cry, one so fierce the six-pound chihuahua-beasts next door began to bark. Whacking the computer, she felt triumph course through her veins. Whacking, as we all know, is the correct way to fix anything that is broken. So you can imagine the horror, sadness, and utter shock when her laptop did nothing. At all. It's blank, lifeless screen just gazed at her blankly.
It was too far gone.
And to all you who are still following me, even though it's been like a month since I've posted: YOU ARE FLIPPING AMAZEBALLS.
Posted by Riley at 7:33 PM